Well, I think that what usually leads to gloating is when the goal of the discussion participator is to prove oneself right, changing somebody's mind, or to 'win' the discussion, so to speak.
And even though arguments appear from the fact that all participating parties think that somebody's wrong (otherwise there wouldn't have been an argument), we still discuss everything with the main goal of exchanging thoughts, opinions, positions, rather than what's stated above.
And it's true that we insult each other quite a lot here, though the difference is, we do that because we know each other for a decade and that's just how our communication style turned out to be (for whatever reason). And even though it indeed can be viewed as weird from a third party perspecitve (or, so to speak, lead to 'collateral insults'), which may be considered a problem, we don't target just everybody with that style (plus not all oldies here talk in a sarcastic and vitriolic manner anyway
).