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Topic Subject:Almost Anything STAR WARS Edition!
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Gen_Rhys_Dallows
Jedi Knight
posted 10-08-13 02:47 PM EDT (US)         
Welp. You know the deal. Pretty much anything Star Wars. The good, bad, and ugly. Mostly bad and ugly, though.



ARMY STRONG
"Rhys wins this thread." - Tsavong Lah | "Gen freakin wins." - Jon Rolos | "...Any mercenary force trained by you, Dallows, would be all kinds of awesome." - Flying Ace
Expanding Fronts Mod

[This message has been edited by Gen_Rhys_Dallows (edited 04-05-2018 @ 12:38 PM).]

AuthorReplies:
Emissary of the Prophets
Clone Trooper
(id: Admiral Zaarin)
posted 01-25-18 05:24 PM EDT (US)     1531 / 1631       
TLJ was just some dull cat and mouse chase for 2 hours. Pointless. With one of the story arcs being utterly redundant (the code breaker).
This. Not to mention making two of the heroes look like heartless fools with the whole, "Aww, let's save the Space Horses and abandon the children" shtick.

Zaarin | Creator of Coruscant Life SE
deviantArt | New Campaign Coming Soon
"But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?”

"Most forums derails into talking about memes. Here we derail into in-depth discussions about art. I like ours better."--jssf1992
ISOmetric
Clone Trooper
posted 01-26-18 06:21 AM EDT (US)     1532 / 1631       
I wrote a reply to the above points but it had spoilers in it, so I moved it to the spoiler thread.

It's a long road that has no turning - It's never too late to mend.
The darkest hour is before the dawn, and even this war must end.


Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster - Widely considered the galaxy's best drink, the effects of which are like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.

~\\*.. The Real McCoy ..*//~
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 01-27-18 11:35 AM EDT (US)     1533 / 1631       
Who'd like a little trip through Moff's thought processes and learn why nuclear bombs and luggage made Star Wars especially ridiculous to me last night? It's story time!

So, I was driving home last night and somehow came back to the ludicrous notion of Curtis Saxton's hyperpowered giant number fetish for guns, reactors, and shields. So, to pass the time on my drive, I started running some numbers. Slave I's infini-dakka guns from AotC supposedly had a two kiloton per-shot yield. What if the Falcon does, too? So, the quadguns have a two kiloton yield. And, I know how fast those guns shoot: 288 rounds per minute per gun.

Now, as we know, Star Wars "lasers" have been retconned away from being real lasers because of fans like me screaming about it, then being allowed to write canon books. So now they're particle beams. But, whatever, we'll treat it as a laser. A two-kiloton laser beam will have a momentum of ~28 kNs (equivalent to a shot from a WW2 French destroyer gun), and exerting a recoil force of 536 kN at 288 rpmrpg... a little more powerful than the thrust of a GE90 engine fitted to a Boeing 777X (currently the most powerful jet engine in the world).

Now, what if both guns were blasting away at TIEs? Given their position on the top and bottom of the ship, that's a fair amount of torque on the Falcon's control systems. The guns would probably have to be fitted with their own ludicrously-powerful gyros just to damp out of that torque. I then rolled my eyes at this thought, since the guns aren't even in the middle of the ship. But then I thought... they're canted a bit toward the rear, where you have the engines and power system and fuel supplies. Ah, but then... what about the cargo holds? But the YT-1300 doesn't have a huge capacity... and I rolled my eyes again. It's Star Wars. Moments of inertia and mass distribution do not exist unless it's a really important to the plot.

But, after all, even on cargo aircraft, you have to be careful about where you put cargo. Those giant planes that haul tanks around are actually carefully balanced so the thing will actually fly in the direction the pilot wants. So, I thought, how do passenger planes manage? I recently flew out to San Francisco, and saw the loading of baggage onto the plane next to mine.

Ah, but the weight of a passenger and their luggage is minuscule compared to the load capacity. Hmm. Is it? Ah, right, they weighed the bags; and there are weight limits. So you could hardly pack your bag with bricks. Make for a hell of a safety factor, though.

This actually took me back around to science fiction; a while back, I wrote a small... can't really call it a story, it was more of a prologue to a story, for a writing contest. It was set in one of my various hard-sci RP universes meant to replace Star Wars to sate my needs. Which... lead back to Star Wars. Duffel bags, suitcases, all this stuff is canon. But I don't use those. My stuff is on wheels. Hmm. Do they put their bags on wheels in Star Wars?

...Wait. No.

Oh no. Oh no no no no.

Shit. They wouldn't have wheels. They'd have hoverbags. Yep, repulsorlift luggage. Oh God, why Star Wars? Damn you. Damn you...

And that's how Moff's brain works.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology

[This message has been edited by Moff von Degurechaff (edited 01-27-2018 @ 11:36 AM).]

Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 02-02-18 05:07 PM EDT (US)     1534 / 1631       
Oh God...

I think I'm gonna be sick.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Queen Jenny the Mediocre
Clone Trooper
(id: neo222)
posted 02-02-18 05:23 PM EDT (US)     1535 / 1631       
I choose buff yoda to defend me, and Jabba to try to kill me, assuming he can't use his criminal contacts against me.

I could move to a small town, and become a waitress...
Emissary of the Prophets
Clone Trooper
(id: Admiral Zaarin)
posted 02-02-18 06:00 PM EDT (US)     1536 / 1631       
I would really like to unsee that...

Zaarin | Creator of Coruscant Life SE
deviantArt | New Campaign Coming Soon
"But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?”

"Most forums derails into talking about memes. Here we derail into in-depth discussions about art. I like ours better."--jssf1992
Flying Ace
Clone Trooper
(id: Lord Vader672)
posted 02-03-18 03:32 AM EDT (US)     1537 / 1631       
First off: What the blue hell is that?

Second: I've just got one word for all of you...Durge

What was YOUR ME3 ending: Merge with Helios, Illuminati, or Tracer Tong?
"I feel like I just watched Dwayne Johnson beat a small disabled child. Except the disabled child is really an infant clone of Hitler. It's so painful to watch...but so glorious." - Cheapy
"The Rebels only have one rank: traitor." - Eothain
Eothain
Clone Trooper
(id: Mad Mike)
posted 02-03-18 05:22 AM EDT (US)     1538 / 1631       
Durge does seem the obvious choice, since he's the only one confirmed to be able to regenerate.

Comrade Mike Eothain
Steam . Xfire . Raptr . Last.fm . Spotify . Audiosurf . Buy this stuff
"Ah, boy. I'm just so tired of all these star wars." - Luke Skywalker, Episode VIII
jssf1992
Clone Trooper
posted 02-03-18 09:17 AM EDT (US)     1539 / 1631       
Or the only one in that gruesome picture not using false advertising.

Currently listening to: Emil Karma
Tann and Reath part two progress
Completely finished: one
Only Narrative needed: five
In progress: two
To be made: six
Flying Ace
Clone Trooper
(id: Lord Vader672)
posted 02-03-18 11:27 AM EDT (US)     1540 / 1631       
Ben the Bitch, Anakin, and Kit Fisto aren't altered either.

What was YOUR ME3 ending: Merge with Helios, Illuminati, or Tracer Tong?
"I feel like I just watched Dwayne Johnson beat a small disabled child. Except the disabled child is really an infant clone of Hitler. It's so painful to watch...but so glorious." - Cheapy
"The Rebels only have one rank: traitor." - Eothain
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 02-03-18 02:12 PM EDT (US)     1541 / 1631       
That's because Kit Fit-so, Ben Swolo, and Anakin don't need it. <_<

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Captain Keno
Clone Trooper
posted 02-04-18 10:06 PM EDT (US)     1542 / 1631       
Gen_Rhys_Dallows
Jedi Knight
posted 02-06-18 08:57 PM EDT (US)     1543 / 1631       
Hey, know how everybody wanted even more goddamned Star Wars films? Well here they are.

ARMY STRONG
"Rhys wins this thread." - Tsavong Lah | "Gen freakin wins." - Jon Rolos | "...Any mercenary force trained by you, Dallows, would be all kinds of awesome." - Flying Ace
Expanding Fronts Mod
Emissary of the Prophets
Clone Trooper
(id: Admiral Zaarin)
posted 02-06-18 08:59 PM EDT (US)     1544 / 1631       
Joy. I just cannot contain my flutter of euphoria. -_-

Zaarin | Creator of Coruscant Life SE
deviantArt | New Campaign Coming Soon
"But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?”

"Most forums derails into talking about memes. Here we derail into in-depth discussions about art. I like ours better."--jssf1992
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 02-06-18 09:38 PM EDT (US)     1545 / 1631       
I always thought Star Wars needed more rape, tits, and incest.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
THE Fake Bryl
SWGBH Downloads Admin
(id: The Real Bryl)
posted 02-07-18 04:33 AM EDT (US)     1546 / 1631       
Yes, who better to write & direct a Star Wars film than David & Dan? Especially considering Game of Thrones has been a nonsensical clusterf*** since they ran out of books to adapt. >_>

The "Real" Bryl
"It's such a fine line between clever and stupid."

paulstreet.bandcamp.com
Flying Ace
Clone Trooper
(id: Lord Vader672)
posted 02-07-18 07:34 AM EDT (US)     1547 / 1631       
This can only end well

What was YOUR ME3 ending: Merge with Helios, Illuminati, or Tracer Tong?
"I feel like I just watched Dwayne Johnson beat a small disabled child. Except the disabled child is really an infant clone of Hitler. It's so painful to watch...but so glorious." - Cheapy
"The Rebels only have one rank: traitor." - Eothain
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 02-07-18 10:11 AM EDT (US)     1548 / 1631       

This was mildly amusing.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Captain Keno
Clone Trooper
posted 03-17-18 02:57 PM EDT (US)     1549 / 1631       
Gen_Rhys_Dallows
Jedi Knight
posted 04-05-18 12:32 PM EDT (US)     1550 / 1631       
It's baby time.

ARMY STRONG
"Rhys wins this thread." - Tsavong Lah | "Gen freakin wins." - Jon Rolos | "...Any mercenary force trained by you, Dallows, would be all kinds of awesome." - Flying Ace
Expanding Fronts Mod
Flying Ace
Clone Trooper
(id: Lord Vader672)
posted 04-05-18 01:59 PM EDT (US)     1551 / 1631       
YEEEEEESSSS!

What was YOUR ME3 ending: Merge with Helios, Illuminati, or Tracer Tong?
"I feel like I just watched Dwayne Johnson beat a small disabled child. Except the disabled child is really an infant clone of Hitler. It's so painful to watch...but so glorious." - Cheapy
"The Rebels only have one rank: traitor." - Eothain
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 04-05-18 04:07 PM EDT (US)     1552 / 1631       
THAT IS NOT CHOCOLATE! THAT IS A COCOON!

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 04-05-18 06:08 PM EDT (US)     1553 / 1631       
Eww, they put Chuck Wendig in it?

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Gen_Rhys_Dallows
Jedi Knight
posted 04-13-18 09:15 AM EDT (US)     1554 / 1631       
The first Aftermath book wasn't great, but the second two significantly improved upon it. Aside from the weird present-tense thing, they're probably my favorite of the new canon books so far.

ARMY STRONG
"Rhys wins this thread." - Tsavong Lah | "Gen freakin wins." - Jon Rolos | "...Any mercenary force trained by you, Dallows, would be all kinds of awesome." - Flying Ace
Expanding Fronts Mod
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 04-13-18 10:14 AM EDT (US)     1555 / 1631       
So... apparently... the "superior officer" TK-421 won the heart of in "Of MSE-6 and Men"—From a Certain Point of View was none other than Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin. Goes from a hot redhead admiral to some Stormtrooper grunt.

Don't get me wrong, grunts need love, too. But Tarkin? Is it because he's British? I bet it's because he's British. <_<

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 04-13-2018 @ 10:17 AM).]

Emissary of the Prophets
Clone Trooper
(id: Admiral Zaarin)
posted 04-16-18 09:53 PM EDT (US)     1556 / 1631       


Star Wars Medley (oud cover)

Zaarin | Creator of Coruscant Life SE
deviantArt | New Campaign Coming Soon
"But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?”

"Most forums derails into talking about memes. Here we derail into in-depth discussions about art. I like ours better."--jssf1992
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 04-18-18 05:34 PM EDT (US)     1557 / 1631       
Ages ago, I had a website called the Star Wars Index. Parts of it are still online. It was a crazy attempt to out-encyclopedia the Star Wars Encyclopedia. Just a collection of all the fictional elements in the rapidly growing Star Wars universe. And in doing so, I saw all manner of continuity errors from day one -- Luke can swim, Leia can't; Leia can swim, Luke can't. I felt no need to create patches, sidebar stories or wild magic bullet theories to make it all fit. I just noted the contradictions in my footnotes, and kept writing.

At first, it was fun, rediscovering the stories with an eye towards the minutae that filled the frame. But that only really counted towards the stuff that I was reading the second, third, or umpteenth time. In a rabid effort to keep my Index up to date, I would read a Star Wars novel with a notepad next to me, keeping track of page numbers and discrepancies, suddenly unable to see the forest for the trees. It was when I was reading a certain cruddy novel about Hutts building a superlaser that I just had to ask -- why was I doing this?

Keep in mind, I wasn't actually fretting about continuity at this point. I was just wondering, why am I putting so much effort to make real a universe I know isn't. A universe I know can't be real. A universe I know is being constructed as a fiction? If the creators of the universe aren't keeping an hour-by-hour chronology or an accurate-to-the-micrometer account of ship lengths, why should I?

It was the classic case of a hobby no longer being fun anymore. That, and the novel really sucked, and I was making an unpleasant activity even more unpleasant. I started thinking about other properties I was passionate about, and whether I felt the need to micro-analyze them. G.I. Joe? Yeah, I love those guys -- but I know the cartoon and comic are two separate worlds, and even inside themselves they're pretty spotty. Transformers? That's even worse, with every story redefining the rules within their own medium, Those universes had hardly a shred of stability to them, so why was I still into them?

Because it wasn't about the continuity that made them fun. It was army guys versus Cobra, or an eighteen-wheeler that turned into a robot. I mean, that was the intent of the creators, after all.

Then, I started thinking about the Muppets. Is there a Muppet chronology out there that agonizes over the veracity of Piggy and Kermit's wedding in The Muppets Take Manhattan, or that Scooter is seen as a manager of the Electric Mayhem in The Muppet Movie, yet was clearly established to be the nephew of the theater owner in the TV show? Did I get angry about that? Did anyone? Probably not.

So, why are Star Wars or scifi fans different? When clearly learned men take incredible amounts of effort to tell me that a Super Star Destroyer is x-meters long based on careful astrolabe-confirmed data gleaned from their Sony triniton, I ask them to explain the scientific principal that holds the yellow letters together at the start of the movie. Or why, if the Empire was so adamant that the Death Star was a secret project, would they allow it to be written in a title crawl for any farmboy to read with a pair of macrobinoculars?

Of course, they yell at me for being facetious and introducing all sorts of logical fallacies to their oh-so-proper college-rules debate.

It just started to get more and more absurd. I realized it was going further and further away from what Star Wars was about. George set out to give a story to a generation growing up without fairy tales, and instead created a generation that can't grow up. Fairy tales don't need technical commentaries (my calculations show, by the way, that there is no physical way the beanstalk could have supported its own mass, let alone that of an ascending or descending giant. Furthermore, please see my essay, "The Fallen Giant Holocaust" for my incredibly footnoted description of how Jack's home land would have been utterly destroyed had a giant fallen from that distance).

I've mellowed out when it comes for my need for the universe to be kept a tidy place. But that said, I do think continuity is important to a degree. To what degree is the question. To the Star Wars scribes, like Randy, and even myself, I say: you KNOW you have an audience that is simply incapable of mellowing out. No amount of saying, "hey it's only a movie" will placate them. You know this. What you have to figure out is a) are they really the largest percentage of your money-spending audience and b) can you put up with their whining?

I honestly don't know the numbers. My gut tells me its actually the minority that worry about Star Destroyer sizes and day-to-day events. But that really depends on your medium. Most of the happy moviegoers that left the theater in 1983 weren't angry that the Endor holocaust wasn't depicted. Oh sure, they wanted Ewoks to die, but they didn't care that the fuzzballs lived due to sloppy science.

But I don't know the psychology of a comics buyer. I think I know the psychology of the average reader of HoloNet News, so I take care not to mess that up too egregiously. And if you're writing a cross sections book or anything that pretends to be a technical manual, for God's sake STOP! Or, at least get ready for the hate mail.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology
Emissary of the Prophets
Clone Trooper
(id: Admiral Zaarin)
posted 04-18-18 07:13 PM EDT (US)     1558 / 1631       
Furthermore, please see my essay, "The Fallen Giant Holocaust" for my incredibly footnoted description of how Jack's home land would have been utterly destroyed had a giant fallen from that distance
...I now feel the need to write this story.

Zaarin | Creator of Coruscant Life SE
deviantArt | New Campaign Coming Soon
"But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?”

"Most forums derails into talking about memes. Here we derail into in-depth discussions about art. I like ours better."--jssf1992
Kousoku Senkan Moffgou
Moff
(id: Moff Yittreas)
posted 04-23-18 08:21 PM EDT (US)     1559 / 1631       


"A local custom, I suppose."

Etiquette and protocol.

New RPG Coming Soon | Purveyor of the Poi | Weeaboo Brony Conserative - The Ultimate Foe to the Internet
Lord Sipia: "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SIPPY IS EXCLUDED! EVERYBODY LOSES THEIR SANITY" | Also Lord Sipia: "...Of course. Prepare the butter."
"Moff's anime diatribes/photos are infinitely less annoying than legion's communism, so I don't complain." - Azzie, proving that cute girls driving tanks >> Left-wing ideology

[This message has been edited by Kousoku Senkan Moffgou (edited 04-23-2018 @ 08:22 PM).]

Flying Ace
Clone Trooper
(id: Lord Vader672)
posted 04-24-18 00:09 AM EDT (US)     1560 / 1631       
Psh. If those clones were IMPERIAL we'd see them arrive, then immediately cut to them leaving behind a burning village. Much more interesting

What was YOUR ME3 ending: Merge with Helios, Illuminati, or Tracer Tong?
"I feel like I just watched Dwayne Johnson beat a small disabled child. Except the disabled child is really an infant clone of Hitler. It's so painful to watch...but so glorious." - Cheapy
"The Rebels only have one rank: traitor." - Eothain
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